Saturday, March 22, 2008
Paper thin memories
Well I thought a lot about this before writing. I don't know I just felt that I should tell you all about my life. These 15 years of my life is something amazing and wonderful time I can ever thing of having! I know life is all about ups and downs just like mountains, you get to see both beautiful things and the toughness of it. Even today I believe that I am a special child =) honestly that’s what everyone around me made me feel like that. It’s just great! Not just me everyone does feel like the way I am feeling.
There is a voice in my heart which keeps telling me that I will be someone who would be recognized for what I truly am! I do feel down most of the times, that’s the only voice which keeps me going on. I do what I think is right to do. I don’t say that I am good and perfect in everything, there are a lot of mistakes which I have committed in the last few years. I really didn’t mean to do it from heart maybe I was in that situation. I know many people are upset about my behavior or my attitude towards them, it’s just the way I am and yeah that’s how I grew up. Whenever I used to look myself in the mirror there couldn’t have been any better me in that image, things change very soon that we people don’t even know how it goes, just like that! Actually you won’t even get time to regret for your past acts. I really am a special child =) just like everyone else in this world I was brought up with all love and care. I thank my parents who made me stand on this earth today so proud of myself , I know I haven’t achieved anything yet still I know I will. I have spent few years with wet eyes , wet pillow , wet dreams and of course wet dress =P After every wet word I have mentioned there stands a great story of my life. I never wanted to be the happiest person in the world I knew if a human is just happy, his life won’t complete, you need everything which makes your life fulfilled! I have come across so many people in my life so far, I can’t even believe that not even a single person is just like the other one in this world isn’t that so fascinating? I don’t blame anyone for what I am today, maybe I was meant to be like this so know what life is all about. I free myself from other work and sit down with all the picture albums of my childhood, I tell you I laugh at myself so much that no one could ever have laughed at someone! Every picture in that scrapbook it’s so sweet to look at, that innocence in those eyes and your movements mesmerizes anyone who looks at it. My tinny little fingers holding my mother’s finger and feeling her warmth in me is something I can never forget. I sit alone thinking of my past I can visualize myself running around here and there fighting with brother, mother, father, my cousins. I don’t look into someone’s eyes if I am not worth them. There are a lot of people whom I really appreciate in life, I tell you that’s how one should lead a life even though it’s hard. That every tear from sparkling eye drops down is like a star losing its shine. People look good when they smile because there is a hidden message behind that lovely smile. I feel jealous seeing others smile knowing that I will be one of them in few years. When I fell down my brother gave me his hand and lifted me up, we used to walk together, watch together, eat together, cry together, play together I wouldn’t ask for anything more. If I did so I would be the worst person ever! =( There are a lot of reasons why people love their childhood memories, it’s just simple some people don’t like taking responsibilities yet or maybe they hate the real world so much that they wont even hesitate to burry it! (A lot other reasons I don’t want to mention all that) I have learnt a lot in my life more than I am supposed to for my age but that’s okay its no disadvantage for me. I would have been nothing today if it wasn’t my dad who encouraged me, he trusted me he did=)I respect my family very much, if they didn’t let me suffer all the way long I wouldn’t have known nothing! Just an another dumb girl who sits in the class listening to lessons, come home mug up things score marks, that’s what I would have been if they didn’t make the worse things happen! Thank you very much dad! Not just them, it needs a whole set of pack to make things look good and feel good it’s not possible without my friends. I can’t even explain how much they mean to me, if they weren’t with me I wouldn’t have been on this earth. They are the reason why I am here and they made it possible for me to write this today.
There was a time when I lost everyone who were with me I had no hope to live life anymore, I had nothing to do on this earth I was so alone waiting for some miracle to happen in my life it was just then, there was a bright star in the sky who shined in front of me like a wishing star who blessed me with all love and affection I had lost. The eyes were so glowing like a baby; no one could have resisted looking at them. My life changed then I had some feelings with me to go on in life. It was just a matter of few months everything vanished like a comet in the sky. =) I still wish that I had never seen that star in my life to make it so miserable. It’s not a regret just a small mistake I did, but that’s okay I still loved it. It would dwell in my heart forever hidden =)
My life is full of everything; there is something in me that the one who stands next to me doesn’t have. I can live with these memories, they keep reminding me of the mistake I did I don’t regret for that I try to make things better out of it. I am still alive for a reason I won’t give up until I find what it is and do it with all my heart. As long as I have my well wishers with me I can do anything which helps the next generation to come up with! =) Even after 15 years from now I wish to stay the same.
I’m not a girl not yet a women =) Happy birthday to me! 8)
I love you all for being with me.